I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
420 ftw
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
