I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize