Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
