the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
