my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
