My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I love you. Go after that dick
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
