OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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