and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
