I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
