I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you win again, gameday.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
