If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
