I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
