I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
