Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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