And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize