i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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