I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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