she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
