I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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