Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
MIDGETS
????
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize