So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
