I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
