Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
