Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
