Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
