Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
