yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
