hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
