do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
