all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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