Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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