Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize