Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music

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(512): View more from Texas

So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married

(214): View more from Texas

What? They have three kids?

(512): View more from Texas

Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me

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(419): View more from Ohio

doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.

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(914): View more from New York

i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue

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(585): View more from New York

you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why

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(917): View more from New York City

If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I need more 20 something year old penis in my life

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