forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
