Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
