dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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