Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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