she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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