Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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