Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
