Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
