i think i have herpe
just one?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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