Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
