fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
