I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize