i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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