if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
