i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
