Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
