After last night, I could never be a politician.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize