Midget sex pt 2 tonight
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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