the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
