I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
