I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
