the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
