I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
