Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
